Hi dimmed the lights and pushed the chair away from the mirror. He wanted to stand there.
"But why ?"
I think its time. The demons are getting better of me. I m not the same. I sense defiance inside. I feel a rebel breaking my spirit. Its the monster coming out I think.
"What went wrong"
Smirk said the script
Everything.
That's y may be angels are worshiped. You can let them out. Let them possess you. Try that with demons once.
You are not the same person anymore.
"You still haven't answered me"
You see Love is an equation of angel and demons. And true love is equilibrium. I am a person who believes in equilibrium but there is too much of devil in me. Once unleashed it'll destroy the good in me.
There won't be any angels, just monsters.
That's why I want to leave. The good in me is already consumed, what's left is pure evil. I don't want to them to question their choice.
"They'll understand"
He switched the lights off, and then there were monsters.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Actor in the Mirror Act 1
Act 1
He got up and emptied his ashtray into trashcan. His feet still wobbled, so did his mind. The bottle was empty by now. "I have to leave" he said.
But you promised that you'll never.
Yes, I did. Its strange you see, what once seemed to be the right thing to do, is no longer relevant. Circumstantial. Its all circumstantial. Love, religion, faith. Even you being here.
"I'll be always there with you. I can't leave no matter what", said the voice.
See, that's exactly what I said years ago. I am telling you its circumstantial. Things change, people change and so does reality. Its simple mathematics. Add a variable into an equation and it changes everything.
Reality is perceived, by our own mind. We create our own realm of realities and we live in them all our lives. Reality is also circumstantial. What seemed real back then now seems unreal, to the same mind in different circumstances.
He looked into the mirror, and found himself sitting on the chair. He was right when he said he'll always be there with him.
He glanced at the script. He didn't miss a dialogue today.
He got up and emptied his ashtray into trashcan. His feet still wobbled, so did his mind. The bottle was empty by now. "I have to leave" he said.
But you promised that you'll never.
Yes, I did. Its strange you see, what once seemed to be the right thing to do, is no longer relevant. Circumstantial. Its all circumstantial. Love, religion, faith. Even you being here.
"I'll be always there with you. I can't leave no matter what", said the voice.
See, that's exactly what I said years ago. I am telling you its circumstantial. Things change, people change and so does reality. Its simple mathematics. Add a variable into an equation and it changes everything.
Reality is perceived, by our own mind. We create our own realm of realities and we live in them all our lives. Reality is also circumstantial. What seemed real back then now seems unreal, to the same mind in different circumstances.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Is it
It must be called Atonement. Is it? Karma comes back, they say, in this life. Good comes first or the bad?
Bad exponential and Good diminished? When Karma crosses you it must remind you of something.
Karma is not in isolation. Or is it?
Atonement is a karma, good or bad? for actions or for thoughts?
it will cross you, often.
Bad exponential and Good diminished? When Karma crosses you it must remind you of something.
Karma is not in isolation. Or is it?
Atonement is a karma, good or bad? for actions or for thoughts?
it will cross you, often.
Friday, May 2, 2014
Oh we meet again
Oh we meet again... Have we met ??? Yes yes we have... Just the other day I talked about you... You must be sound sleep right...
We kissed
It rained.... And there we stood soaking...wondering is this the moment? We looked into each other's eyes. Yes it has to be. And then we kissed for the last time. It didn't feel the same, there was more to it. It had the joy of being together and the pain of separation.
That's my side of story
That's my side of story
No I did not fall in love with you at first sight
It started slowly ... Gradually ... And it's been the same today .. Every day I fall in love with you.. Still
It rained
It seemed that God was doing the crying for us
As if telling us, it ends here.
This was all I wrote of a story of you two being together.
And we knew it, just when it rained.
Silence me
Silence me
silence my thoughts
Don't let them reach you
don't let them get out of my head
Stop me
Don't let me speak
Tell me the truth
Give me my peace back
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Short lived
It was short ...
It was sweet...
But it was not meant to be ...
It Was forever still had its life....
It was immortal yet mortal ..
What remains of it, is me, the same me
What's missing is u, the different u...
Forever and ever is nothing ...
Infact nothing is forever and ever ...
U nd me ... Me and you...
We had something that was short and sweet ...
Short lived with sweet pain
i know
I know how it's gonna end...
One of us would walk away ...
And one of us would stand and watch the other one leave...
And when we do it we'll do it with a smile and probably with a hug too ..
We'll tell each other that I am gonna miss you..
and in that moment we'll relive the years that we spent together ... ..
We'll remember the fights first and then the Smiles ..
We'll remember the walk .... The phone calls the messages ...
One of us would walk away ...
And one of us would stand and watch the other one leave...
And when we do it we'll do it with a smile and probably with a hug too ..
We'll tell each other that I am gonna miss you..
and in that moment we'll relive the years that we spent together ... ..
We'll remember the fights first and then the Smiles ..
We'll remember the walk .... The phone calls the messages ...
We'll have to do it at they very moment ... ...
We are gonna look into each other's eyes ...
And when they'll meet we'll look away .....
We are gonna look into each other's eyes ...
And when they'll meet we'll look away .....
We'll live it all in that one moment because deep inside we'll know
This ends here ...
And when all this is done.. and one of us had left...
We'll utter ... I love you
We'll utter ... I love you
We Are Actors
We were not made in front of camera
We were nourished on a wooden stage
We are beyond scripts
We are beyond roles
We are made of soft clay
Every script is for us...
Every Role is for us...
We are not mere entertainers
WE ARE ACTORS
We were nourished on a wooden stage
We are beyond scripts
We are beyond roles
We are made of soft clay
Every script is for us...
Every Role is for us...
We are not mere entertainers
WE ARE ACTORS
Koi to aisa din hoga
Koi to aisa din hoga
Jab Hum tum dono baat karenge
Subah se lekar raat karenge
Kuch khatti hongi kuch meethi hongi
kuch tujhpe, to kuch mujhpe beeti hongi
Kuch par Thode aansu Aayenge
Kuch par hassi ke thahake Lagayenge
Kuch Teri hongi kuch Meri hongi
Kuch beech mein aeri gairi hongi
Baaton baaton mein yuhin waqt nikal jayega
Raat ke Andhere ko sooraj jagane aayega
Woh din Kitna haseen hoga
Woh raat kitni mukummal hogi
Jab hum tum dono baat karenge
Subah se lekar raat karenge
Subah se lekar raat karenge
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Random
Its been years ..... Yes, years...
Evey morning I hear the birds chirp... I see morning walks...
Then i close my eyes...and wait for the consious to take me in....I cant't call it sleep,,,I have not slept...Yes,for years..
I hear something... May be a few mumblings..Somewhere inside.... I hear the mumblings...
And Yes I am right, No I haven't slept for years... I have just closed my eyes..and intoxicated myself to an extent where I cannot open them....You can't call it sleep...Its mere closing of eyes....
A sleep is sound....it relaxes you.....It takes away the tiredness...I feel tired,,,, Restless even more....But there is more to it.... There is anger..... Unnecessary you may call it... but yes its there...
Everything is fine... Trust me it is...
The birds still chirp...every morning they do...Trust me..... and there is anger too.... Trust me
There is screaching....We are way to fast..... slow down..... No I am not talking to my thoughts....
Metal met metal then.... Then there were mumblings.... I barely know what they were.... Just few mumblings....they are still there somewhere inside....
Please don't do it.... please don't hold my hand....
Its not your fault... neither its mine...
There must be a way to sleep.....
Its been years..... Yes, years....
Evey morning I hear the birds chirp... I see morning walks...
Then i close my eyes...and wait for the consious to take me in....I cant't call it sleep,,,I have not slept...Yes,for years..
I hear something... May be a few mumblings..Somewhere inside.... I hear the mumblings...
And Yes I am right, No I haven't slept for years... I have just closed my eyes..and intoxicated myself to an extent where I cannot open them....You can't call it sleep...Its mere closing of eyes....
A sleep is sound....it relaxes you.....It takes away the tiredness...I feel tired,,,, Restless even more....But there is more to it.... There is anger..... Unnecessary you may call it... but yes its there...
Everything is fine... Trust me it is...
The birds still chirp...every morning they do...Trust me..... and there is anger too.... Trust me
There is screaching....We are way to fast..... slow down..... No I am not talking to my thoughts....
Metal met metal then.... Then there were mumblings.... I barely know what they were.... Just few mumblings....they are still there somewhere inside....
Please don't do it.... please don't hold my hand....
Its not your fault... neither its mine...
There must be a way to sleep.....
Its been years..... Yes, years....
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Is sheher ki abaadi mein gum hai...
is sheher ki abaadi mein gum hai
jaane kitne kiske khwaab..
kuch toot chuke hai kirchi kirchi..
kuch mein jaan abhi bhi baaki hai....
kuch pankh lagaye udte hai...
kuch ke badal gaye hai adaab...
is sheher ki abaadi mein gum hai..
jane kitne kiske khwaab..
Is sheher ki abaadi mein gum hai
jane kitne kiske pyaar,
Kuch sachhe hai, kuch jhoote hai.
kuch tere hain, kuch mere hai,
kuch bikhar chuke hai katra katra,
kuch is sheher se gaye hai haar..
Is sheher ki abaadi mein gum hai
jaane kitne kiske pyaar
Is sheher ki abaadi mein gum,
tum bhi ho aur main bhi hun..
har saans yahan par gum hai..
har awaaz yahan par gum hai..
kuch sunta hai to shor yahan..
kuch dikhta hai to bheed yahan..
bas tum nahi dihkte...
Aur main nahi dikhta...
Is sheher ki abaadi mein ghum
tum bhi ho aur main bhi hun..
Friday, May 13, 2011
Being an eklavyan
PREFACE
Act 1 scene 1 Take number 43......STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS.......
3rd Feb 2009:
8 am till 8 pm: Process of a reputed organization---
9:30 pm-11:30 pm 5 plays back to back.....STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS.......
19th December 2009: Time around 1 am
A performer falls from a height of 10 feet. Almost unconscious for a minute...Practice called off....
20th February 2009: He performs in street play in Mood-i with an injured right hand.......AND DOES'NT COMPLAIN ABOUT IT
2nd February 2009:
One pissed off director calls off a play from Eklavya launch event because of lack of practice...STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS
Later that night the team rehearsed the play just once...
3rd February: Taj Mahal ka Tender turns out to be most applauded play by audience...
2 days before an event 2009:
A read between the lines kind of challenge is thrown before team eklavya
later that night 3 freaks stood outside the campus gate from 12:30 am till 4:30 am, discussing some random physics...(Gravitation)
1 day before the event: A team of 8 is formed and they discuss some random physics again....
May day 2009: Team eklavya canters home in style....with some money...no need to mention we won first prize...
A guys only team was picked for this play...not to mention 50% of Eklavyans are girls.....STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS
3 days before another event....
Team from a competitor meets Team Eklavya directors....
2 days before the event...The idea of performing was dropped because they found the street play Topic monotonous....
Message was communicated to entire team.....STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS
*Still regret the decision*
Somewhere in February 2009:
1 pm: 4 members of Team Eklavya waiting for their performance in ITELF Sprout IT, meanwhile 8 members of their team waiting for them in NICMAR to perform in a competition..
1:45 pm: After performing in ITELF event 4 members reach NICMAR
1:50 pm: Team of 12 perform in NICMAR...
Result: 2nd prize and no one is happy....most of them didn't had lunch that day....and college mess was not to be blamed...
This was the first and only time we dint win first prize....
and...NO ONE COMPLAINS
I can go on to write an entire book on Eklavya ...but I think lets restrict ourselves to Preface for now..
Coming to the point
To be honest none of us were great actors or directors..
Infact most of us were first timers on stage.....
But we had one thing in common....AND IT WAS NOT OUR PASSION TOWARDS THEATRE...most of us dint even knew the difference between street play and stage play(apart from the place where they are performed)...and i bet most of us still dnt kno it....
Neither it was FAME....(We never knew that we are going to be famous) ;)
And it was definitely not MONEY... (We are still the most poor group in entire SIC)...
The things we had in common amongst each other was the TRUST,FAITH AND RESPONSIBILITY
TRUST in each other's abilities and
FAITH in each other's actions...
A sense of RESPONSIBILITY towards the group
We were just a group of friends who did what they loved to do...."being with each other and sometimes do some acting too....
And it was just because of these..
No one complained after take number 42.....
Regards,
Eklavyan
Act 1 scene 1 Take number 43......STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS.......
3rd Feb 2009:
8 am till 8 pm: Process of a reputed organization---
9:30 pm-11:30 pm 5 plays back to back.....STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS.......
19th December 2009: Time around 1 am
A performer falls from a height of 10 feet. Almost unconscious for a minute...Practice called off....
20th February 2009: He performs in street play in Mood-i with an injured right hand.......AND DOES'NT COMPLAIN ABOUT IT
2nd February 2009:
One pissed off director calls off a play from Eklavya launch event because of lack of practice...STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS
Later that night the team rehearsed the play just once...
3rd February: Taj Mahal ka Tender turns out to be most applauded play by audience...
2 days before an event 2009:
A read between the lines kind of challenge is thrown before team eklavya
later that night 3 freaks stood outside the campus gate from 12:30 am till 4:30 am, discussing some random physics...(Gravitation)
1 day before the event: A team of 8 is formed and they discuss some random physics again....
May day 2009: Team eklavya canters home in style....with some money...no need to mention we won first prize...
A guys only team was picked for this play...not to mention 50% of Eklavyans are girls.....STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS
3 days before another event....
Team from a competitor meets Team Eklavya directors....
2 days before the event...The idea of performing was dropped because they found the street play Topic monotonous....
Message was communicated to entire team.....STILL NO ONE COMPLAINS
*Still regret the decision*
Somewhere in February 2009:
1 pm: 4 members of Team Eklavya waiting for their performance in ITELF Sprout IT, meanwhile 8 members of their team waiting for them in NICMAR to perform in a competition..
1:45 pm: After performing in ITELF event 4 members reach NICMAR
1:50 pm: Team of 12 perform in NICMAR...
Result: 2nd prize and no one is happy....most of them didn't had lunch that day....and college mess was not to be blamed...
This was the first and only time we dint win first prize....
and...NO ONE COMPLAINS
I can go on to write an entire book on Eklavya ...but I think lets restrict ourselves to Preface for now..
Coming to the point
To be honest none of us were great actors or directors..
Infact most of us were first timers on stage.....
But we had one thing in common....AND IT WAS NOT OUR PASSION TOWARDS THEATRE...most of us dint even knew the difference between street play and stage play(apart from the place where they are performed)...and i bet most of us still dnt kno it....
Neither it was FAME....(We never knew that we are going to be famous) ;)
And it was definitely not MONEY... (We are still the most poor group in entire SIC)...
The things we had in common amongst each other was the TRUST,FAITH AND RESPONSIBILITY
TRUST in each other's abilities and
FAITH in each other's actions...
A sense of RESPONSIBILITY towards the group
We were just a group of friends who did what they loved to do...."being with each other and sometimes do some acting too....
And it was just because of these..
No one complained after take number 42.....
Regards,
Eklavyan
Monday, January 18, 2010
Collection of my favorite two liners....
1) Band Aankhein thi kisi ke intezaar mein .....
Maut aayi aur Dhokha kha gayi....
2)Marna to is jahan mein koi haadsa nahi....
Is daur-e-nakwar mein jeena kamal hai...
3) Insaan mukkammal to apna bhi nahi hota....
Aur usne likha hai main tumhara hun....
4) Le jayeiga mujhse har ek cheez cheen kar...
Khud ko mere paas magar bhool jayeiga
5) Vaade ke saath shart bhi achhi hai aapki...
Vaada wafa karenge gar yaad reh gaya....
6) Yehi likha tha meri haath ki lakeeron mein....
Main agar pyaar karunga to bikhar jaunga...
7) Vaar is kadar ka shadid hi kar sake...
Chehra magar kisi ashina ka tha....
8) Aisa kya paaya ke sab kuch choddna achha laga....
Aissa kya khoya ke ab tak dhoondthe firte hai hum...
Maut aayi aur Dhokha kha gayi....
2)Marna to is jahan mein koi haadsa nahi....
Is daur-e-nakwar mein jeena kamal hai...
3) Insaan mukkammal to apna bhi nahi hota....
Aur usne likha hai main tumhara hun....
4) Le jayeiga mujhse har ek cheez cheen kar...
Khud ko mere paas magar bhool jayeiga
5) Vaade ke saath shart bhi achhi hai aapki...
Vaada wafa karenge gar yaad reh gaya....
6) Yehi likha tha meri haath ki lakeeron mein....
Main agar pyaar karunga to bikhar jaunga...
7) Vaar is kadar ka shadid hi kar sake...
Chehra magar kisi ashina ka tha....
8) Aisa kya paaya ke sab kuch choddna achha laga....
Aissa kya khoya ke ab tak dhoondthe firte hai hum...
Friday, October 23, 2009
I M
I am my truth…which hurts
I am my Lie…which consoles
I am my belief...which is strong
I am my faith….which is immovable
I am my Success…which is gratifying….
I am my failure….which is a lesson..
I am my fear…which is a Superstition…
I am My thought….which is restless.
I m my Mind….which is independent…
I am my soul…..which is bound…
I am My Purpose… which is amidst Unknown
I am My Nirvana...which is awaiting me.
I am the one Missing in Me…
I am the one who knows how it feels to be like “ME”
I am too good for what I have done to myself….
FOR I KNOW THAT WHAT DEFINES ME BEST IS……
‘I’ ‘M’ MORTAL
I am my Lie…which consoles
I am my belief...which is strong
I am my faith….which is immovable
I am my Success…which is gratifying….
I am my failure….which is a lesson..
I am my fear…which is a Superstition…
I am My thought….which is restless.
I m my Mind….which is independent…
I am my soul…..which is bound…
I am My Purpose… which is amidst Unknown
I am My Nirvana...which is awaiting me.
I am the one Missing in Me…
I am the one who knows how it feels to be like “ME”
I am too good for what I have done to myself….
FOR I KNOW THAT WHAT DEFINES ME BEST IS……
‘I’ ‘M’ MORTAL
Monday, July 13, 2009
स्वप्न में एक जीवन जिया था
Swapn mein ek jeevan jiya tha...
Ek aisa jahan dikahi diya tha...
Jahan Na hindu the na musalman the...
Jahan Sirf aur sirf insaan the....
Mazhab sab ka pyaar tha....
Khuda ke roop mein yaar tha....
Na thi shikan kisi ke chehron pe...
Na aankhon mein kisi ke aansoo the...
Honthon pe muskurahtein si bikhri thi bas.....
Aankhon mein umeed thi sapne the....
Swapn mera toot gaya wo jahan peeche choot gaya...
Yahan to hindu hain musalman hai....
Yahan kahan woh jahan hai...
Yahan kahan dilon mein pyaar hai...
Yahan to bas bandookein aur talwar hain...
Aman swapn adhoora hai poora ho nahi sakta...
Tera sapno ka jahan- jahan mein kahin ho nahi sakta...
Ek aisa jahan dikahi diya tha...
Jahan Na hindu the na musalman the...
Jahan Sirf aur sirf insaan the....
Mazhab sab ka pyaar tha....
Khuda ke roop mein yaar tha....
Na thi shikan kisi ke chehron pe...
Na aankhon mein kisi ke aansoo the...
Honthon pe muskurahtein si bikhri thi bas.....
Aankhon mein umeed thi sapne the....
Swapn mera toot gaya wo jahan peeche choot gaya...
Yahan to hindu hain musalman hai....
Yahan kahan woh jahan hai...
Yahan kahan dilon mein pyaar hai...
Yahan to bas bandookein aur talwar hain...
Aman swapn adhoora hai poora ho nahi sakta...
Tera sapno ka jahan- jahan mein kahin ho nahi sakta...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tune kaha ishq dhong hai...my fav..
Tune kaha ishq dhong hai.....
Tujhe ishq ho khuda kare....
Tujhe is se koi juda kare...
Tere honth hasna bhool jayein...
Teri aankhien purnaam raha karien...
tu is ki batien suna kare...
tu is ki batein kiya kare..
Tujhe dosti bhi na raas aaye...
Tu tanha-2 fira kare....
Tukhe hijr ki wo chari lage...
tu milne ki har pal dua kare....
Use dekh ke tu ruk pade....
Woh nazar jhuka kar shal pade....
tere khwab bikhre toot kar...
Tu kichi-kirchi jama kare.....
Tujhe ishq pe yakeen ho...
tu gali-2 sada kare...
tu nagar-2 fira kare....
main kahoon ishq dhong hai....
tu nahi-nahi kara kare.....
my favorite....contributed by sylph..
--------------------------------------------------------
purnaam= filled with tears, hijr= seperation from beloved, kirchi= smallest piece of glass, sada= call
Tujhe ishq ho khuda kare....
Tujhe is se koi juda kare...
Tere honth hasna bhool jayein...
Teri aankhien purnaam raha karien...
tu is ki batien suna kare...
tu is ki batein kiya kare..
Tujhe dosti bhi na raas aaye...
Tu tanha-2 fira kare....
Tukhe hijr ki wo chari lage...
tu milne ki har pal dua kare....
Use dekh ke tu ruk pade....
Woh nazar jhuka kar shal pade....
tere khwab bikhre toot kar...
Tu kichi-kirchi jama kare.....
Tujhe ishq pe yakeen ho...
tu gali-2 sada kare...
tu nagar-2 fira kare....
main kahoon ishq dhong hai....
tu nahi-nahi kara kare.....
my favorite....contributed by sylph..
--------------------------------------------------------
purnaam= filled with tears, hijr= seperation from beloved, kirchi= smallest piece of glass, sada= call
Agar woh badshah hota
Agar woh badshah hota
to koi baat bhi hoti....
Suna hai badshahon ko
agar de koi nazrana....
jo sab cheezon se badhkar ho...
To woh apni badshahi tak..
luta dete hain aksar....
mohhabat hai hamare pass...
magar woh badshah kab hai..
contributed by sylph
---------------------------------------
to koi baat bhi hoti....
Suna hai badshahon ko
agar de koi nazrana....
jo sab cheezon se badhkar ho...
To woh apni badshahi tak..
luta dete hain aksar....
mohhabat hai hamare pass...
magar woh badshah kab hai..
contributed by sylph
---------------------------------------
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